Heavenly Bliss

I just want to take this moment to tell each and every one of you to this new Social Network Community for those who are huge fans of the Hollywood Scene (i.e. latest and older movies, actors, actresses, musicians, music, etc) who wish to share their true love and admiration for their latest obsession in the Hollywood scene with others who share the same interest as them.  We offer the following services to all true fans/members:

 

Member Profiles
Member Galleries
Members Video Galleries
Join or Create A Group
Member Blogs
Annual Chat Parties
Annual Halloween Masscqurade Costume Balls
Free Movie Tickets
Discussion Forums
Chatrooms (Coming Soon...)
AND SO MUCH MORE!!!

 

Seein as we are a new site and community, we are looking for those who have fresh new ideas on how we can improve our site and community for the better. So, if you got any ideas or suggestions on how we can improve The Hollywood-Elite for the best...please drop us a note as we would love to improve for the better!!!!

Should you need assistance with anything at all, please contact Lady Angelique or any other staffer and we will try our very best to assist you to the best of our abilities. In the meantime, we ask that you sit back and relax...enjoy yourselves amongst other true fans and members!!!! Have a great time on here!!!!

 

SITE LINK: http://www.hollywood-elite.org

Lately I been suffering from depression really badly. First I lost a cousin and let me remind you all, I wasn't close to him but that is not the point. I had also lost my aunt a couple of months back and right after her death my dad had to get a pacemaker. All this would not be so stressful if my brother wasn't always startin shit with me by talkin shit bout me within snide remarks for only me to hear. And puttin me down like a dog...don't get me wrong am use to this shit from my parents. But they're my parents...they have a right to do that...they concieved me and all that good shit...what fucking right my brother got to put me down like a dog? And worst than my own parents?! All my parents ever bitch bout is that am not ambitious and am lazy he on the other hand take it to a whole new level by constantly calling me bitch and other nasty things. I mean atleast with my parents is true what they say and yes am admittin that I suffer from depression and with that comes me havin low self esteem and probaly do make me non ambitious....and all that other good shit. But I don't need my brother to make me feel worst. When he is the one who beat the shit outta his wife and she divorcing him soon after that and him havin to move back in our parents house (where I live) for almost a year now. 

And as a result of all this personal life stress...it started effecting me at work which lead me to getting written up and if I don't proof myself to my bosses that I can still handle my job...am fired. Well, technically they said they would "Let me go".  Which hurts me deeply luckily my boss knows me well nough to give me a second chance and wants me to work really hard to proof myself to him and all the other bosses. Although I think there was something else goin on that was not fair on me gettin written up but bottomline is shit at home started to effect me at work and I got written up cause of it.  No words can truly express or explain how am now feeling...now when am at work is like unconciously I don't give a fuck what happens and am being loud and obnoxious...shit last week I snitched on two folks to my close friend who handles the department in which I use to take care of till they pulled me off cuz I got written up due to my mistakes. And it is not like me to snitch on anyone even if they truly deserve it and even if I feel the boss or whoever is in charge should know...tis just not my style to snitch but last week I found my self snitching on two folks...one was a new guy well shit! He deserve it cause I heard he was using the personal Yahoo Instant Messenger to pick up girls while at work and than when he was givin me a ride to go get cigarettes at lunch he was tellin me not to punch out for lunch and wait till we got back to punch out...he sounds like a real sleeze bag. He is also lazy as fuck and don't do shit but walk around and smoke cigarettes while the rest of us bust our asses.

And this other chick...damn...I really had no rite to snitch on her ass but I did overhear her talkin bout my close friend who happen to be in charge of the department in which i use  to take care of...and am the sorta person if I overhear something and it is something big...am sorry...I try to keep it to myself but sometimes and it also depends cuz I heard her talkin bout my friend and than gain it could be anger and she talkin out of anger...but I had to tell my friend cuz I trust her and I trust she wouldn't tell anyone else. Cuz my ass wzn't suppose to hear that shit...as it was something really private...damn. Have any of you ever overheard something that had nothin to do with you and you were the only one there and just happen to over hear it? I mean shit...does that make me a gossipper??? I mean I know I am...but I try not to be. I honest to god feel like quittin that job...but is fucked up...I am holdin an even bigger secret and I can't even keep something that has nothin to do with me a secret...well maybe is cuz it has nothin to do with me but if it get back to me that am a gossipper shit...I feel like total shit here. 

My stomach is all fucked up due to stress. Am seriously considering and maybe this is why am acting like I don't give a fuck and not focusin like I should on my job and maybe unconciously I wanna get fired but in all truth and honesty I don't...even when if I want to quit and wanna give up...I don't wanna end up leavin that job like this. Not in a bad way.  Am just gettin fed up of all these backstabbing and betrayal...I dunno who the fuck to trust no more...is so hard. Cuz the way I got written up...wz just all so fucked up...those who I thought were my friend who I thought would tell me stuff turned...supposedly they reported my ass for mistakes I made and yet they are tellin me to my face that they would never snitch on me but than they also say it was two others who am not close to who snitched on me but when I told my boss that my friends would never snitch on me he is tellin me that is not what he is hearing...meaning they fuckin snitched on me. It fuckin hurts. It hurts deeply...makes me wanna quit that fuckin job and be done with it. But truth be told...I can't leave like this...not in a very bad way. I want to proof all their fuckin asses wrong that I am still a hard worker and a good worker that I can focus on my job at hand. Pardon my language cuz some of them I do care bout but shit it hurts like fuckin hell. My friends all feel bad for me and feel that it was all so unfair how my ass got written up and how I got pulled off the major job duties...am glad to hear that...but I also wonder if all their concerns and care is truly sincere and from the heart and soul...makes me wonder

Anyways, am out. Laters folks.

To deny your hearts sweetest pleasures
To ignore the hurt and pain from denial of such pleasures
To act as if all is alright and no harm is being done
Is to kill your precious heart ever so softly

 

To deny his physical needs
To ignore his physical desires
Just because of your materialistic needs
Is selfish on your part
For he clearly needs you more...
Than your own materialistic desires

 

To tease him till he can no longer stand it
To tempt him when he is in such a weak state
As much as you find it fun and pleasureable
Cause you know he is aching for your body
And so much more

Than to deny him the sweetest pleasures
Is beyond evil
As the sweet temptations you tease him with...
May feel like a slow painful death to him

 

But you have your reasons
For why you are the way you are
And why you do things like that
For you love the moment when
You two can finally spend some
Quality time together
To get very intimate

The long waiting is now over for him
As well as you
Now you two can finally
Make sweet passionate love

Well it has been two months since I last been online due to my computer dying on me. Yah the ole bugger finally conked out on me...thanx to my dumb ass cousin who originally rebuilt it as it was originally a Gateway pc which I got back in 2000 which didnt really last long (my fault...*LOL* no not funny). Only lasted a couple of years and BOOM! It died on me (actually the power supply had gone on me). This time when my old computer died it was really I think and still blame my cousin as I personally believe that ole fat ass used some old used damaged parts when he originally rebuilt that computer PLUS (this is my fault here) the cooling fans died a few months back and I was using a desktop fan on it instead of replacing the old cooling fans (which died on me a few months ago).  So, shit caught up to me and I was without a PC for two months. Mainly because I had to buy a new computer (the one am using right now) and I had to pay it off before I actually got it. So, I busted my ass at work for the past two months to make sure it happened. Gotta admitt I thought I was goin to be in worst shape cause I didn't have my computer but I actually wasnt....I looked at it like a two month vacation from the net. Truth be told prior to my old computer dying on me I was seriously considering leaving the net cause no one was on and I was kinda or so I thought loosing interest in the net...it just wasn't the same for me anymore.  But I guess what I really needed was a long ass break from the net as even though I wasn't missing it that much I did some thinking and come to realize I do miss one thing...doing sites and fan sites. Low and behold my bestfriend from Urugway contacted me to tell me that she too was missing doing sites and fan sites...and how she wanted to get back into it again. Which had motivated me to join her in the same quest in getting back into sites and fan sites. Through emails to her and reading her thoughts and feelings on gettin back into the game of site development and all that goes with it...I found myself seriously missing out on my old life as a site owner and webmistress. So, she and I made plans to get together to do sites and fan sites like what we use to do. Not so long ago (a few years ago).

 

My bedroom is also undergoin a serious make over as you can see in my galleries on here, you can see some pictures of some of the changes I made to my room (i.e. new mattress, new bedding, and a trunk).  I got a new nightstand as well but for some reason the picture didnt want to upload.  I also have pictures of my new pc which isn't so good cause the case is black but you can see the blue lights from the blue cooling fans lights (that lights up when powered on). Plus I have a gallery for screen caps of Windows Vista Ultimate (which is what I got) and how cool it is. For those of you who own it, than you know just how awesome it is and for those who don't own it...you should check it out as it is totally awesome. I also strongly recommend getting it as it is (to me) the best window's version out there!!! I am also planning on getting a 17" flat panel monitor which is even bigger and save more space than my bulky 15" monitor that I currently have now and am also goin to add another hard drive that is 160 GB (more space the better) plus I wanna get a TV Adapter so that I can watch television as well as record shows and interviews (for fan sites purposes only) on my computer. 

 

I am so glad to be back online, yah I guess I did miss the online life after all...*LOL* Am also working on a Personal Blog Site, I will keep this blog goin as usual but my main blog will be located on my personal blog site.  Anyways, that is it for now. I am goin to start writing again but this time not poetry like the last time. This time am goin to focus on short stories and creative writings. Am goin to be the next Anne Rice *LOL* BIG ASS *LOL* Welll, hell! A girl can dream can't she???? *LMAO* Anyways, catch you all later! 

Others tell me to forget about you

Remove you from my life

Move on to bigger and better things

Fish for new men

Yet apart of me will always...

Feel something deep and intimate for you

And only you

No one will ever know the feelins I have for you

Niether will you

For I don't even think you see them

Or even notice them

I shouldn't feel so strongly for you

As I have a man of my own

Yet it is something completly different

With you

This friendship we both share

Is all I can ever have

I cannot understand why I feel...

Strongly for you

Even when we have gone our seperated ways

These feelins I have for you are still there

Yearning for your attention

More and more

With each passing day

You have a woman

I have a man

Is it possible that I have completly...

Misread the signs you were sending me earlier?

That all of this is just a simple friendship...

And nothin else?

How foolish I feel...

If that is the situation

But I must remain strong

True friend to the end

And not let these intimate feelins

Come in between our friendship

For that is all that really and truly matters here